First, some history: When I was a child, watching my pops get ready to go out was something to behold. He would spend hours preparing his mask every morning for whatever crowd, person or community he faced. Even years later, my pops still took longer to get ready than my mother and sister combined, delicately taking a black Sharpie to any stray grays that might pop up in his goatee. My pops would explain that as a young man in the Dominican Republic, you had to work so hard perfecting yourself, preparing your mask, so that when a young European or American woman came through, she might choose you, as he would put it, might take you home with her, like that was your only way out. Later he made his way to New York City, where he met my mother, who is Colombian. Selected by whom became and remains my dilemma.
‘I had to submit to being exoticised by white women. If I didn’t, I was punished’
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Viewers have long complained that they are fed up with the conveyor belt of white women on the show. Yet her casting has only thrown into focus the struggles black women face when dating. Unlike other shows, where diversity woes can simply be redressed by recasting, Love Island is complicated. The show has been praised for its unfiltered portrayal of the dark side of dating — from ghosting and gaslighting to toxic masculinity and relationships. But there is another reality the show has brought to the fore. When Wes, like most of the black or mixed-raced male contestants before him, professed to liking blondes and brunettes, viewers hardly flinched.
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The committing of a hidden life event to the written word. I used to wonder if my reluctance was driven by shame, or simply my incredulity at what took place all those years ago. Now, I think that it is those things mostly, but also a hell of a lot more. Over the last few years, particularly in the recent crosswinds of our racial and cultural political climate, this life event bubbled to the surface of my memory, never quite boiling over. I almost never mention it to women.